Reading

Adventures in Tandem Nursing

by: Hilary Flower

Date Life: Post 7 p.m.

Thankfully Clare is a great sleeper! She goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 p.m. each evening and sleeps until 7 a.m. As a result all activities that we want to accomplish as a family unit occur prior to 7 p.m. and after she goes to bed we have stretches of time together as a couple.

Some evenings I will go out for coffee, meet with friends, or just go wander to get out of the house. But more often than not we stay home because we want to be together. And because I am light years away from domestic goddess status we have plenty of household things that we could do each evening.

But the real question is what can we do to 'date' after the child is in bed without going out? Some evenings we'll take a beverage on the front porch and chat but I'd really rather be at the porch at Willie's in Vista. I know we need to schedule babysitters so we can have real date nights every so often, but in the interim how can we keep dating at home?

Miss Piggy

Gigi added to Clare's 'wrinkle up the nose and snorting' skills during our stay in New Hampshire. This shot in the tub captures her mid piggy snort...better here than with a mouth filled with peas right?

Soccer!

Clare got her first soccer ball yesterday...hopefully the first of many. Mario said he married me for my quarterback genes, I was secretly relieved when Clare arrived as a girl so I wouldn't have to explain why I thought football and wrestling were dangerous sports.

Blogging

It took awhile to get used to life without the internet in New Hampshire. And then I noticed that my journal entries got a lot richer. And I liked that too. During the two weeks I wrote more than usual and am trying to figure out how to keep those going while maintaining e-Clare.

At home the internet is an integral part of my day. It's how I stay connected to the rest of the world between naps and other Mom activities. I like it.. a lot. But I wonder what I should be doing instead of surfing the virtual world. What part of my life should I be living instead or is that just part of it?

I can't imagine staying at home with Clare in pre-internet days. I swear that it's kept me sane on more than one day but the two week break did feel good.

Mario just got a phone gizmo that lets him check his e-mail from anywhere he can find a Verizon signal, I think it's called a Treo a la Blackberry. I worry about how this constant access will impact our home life, I really enjoyed having him internet free for a week and value our time at home as a family. And one of the nice parts about St. Simons is that we don't have internet in the condo...

But often times I find it easier to shoot off a few emails to connect than trying to make phone calls. Chasing Clare around with a cell phone hooked to my ear is possible but not very conducive to an actual conversation. I guess I need to work on finding a better balance between actual live interaction and my virtual world.

Toys

After spending the week at Gigi and Pop Pop's we are now woefully aware of inadequacy of our toys at home! Yesterday Clare and I made a trip to the local Wal-Mart (aka: the other store) for toys and also swung by the Goodwill. We made a few scores on things like a pull up table, the above truck, and bath letters. Anyone with a 1ish year old that has suggestions for good toys, please let me know...I'd rather buy a few good ones from the start rather than letting her expand her real estate in our home unecessarily!

Being Nice

I love reading the signs outside of churches. Around our neighborhood there are six churches within walking distance and they usually provide a plethora of interesting material to contemplate while driving or walking (usually driving since the temps contine to blaze in the high 90's around here!).

Today I spotted this one and it actually stuck with me long enough to make it on the blog:

It doesn't cost anything to be nice.

Sometimes the gentle reminders are the best kind.

New Hampshire Pictures

Looking back at my camera it appears as though I didn't take very many pictures at all! We spent two weeks at Clare's Cottage on Lake Horace enjoying life in New England with friends and family. Parts of this included long drives through the countryside, swimming in the indoor pool in the kitchen, eating frozen waffles to relieve teething pain, sleeping, and touring the local covered bridge.

**Caroline has a few more shots that cover the second week!

On being home

1. There is a difference between the sheets on the beds at the cottage and our 600 thread count anniversary sheets.

2. Using my rosemary mint conditioner in the shower tonight felt like heaven.

3. Clare has more toys and better toys at Clare's Cottage than she does here in Columbia.

4. I miss the sounds of the New Hampshire woods, including the obnoxious crows in the early morning.

5. It is much cooler in New Hampshire than South Carolina.

6. Sitting for two and a half hours on the runway in Baltimore with a 9 month old is not fun.

7. I think that Mario really did miss Clare when we were gone.

8. Caroline is a compatible travel buddy.

9. Sorting through the mail after a trip is a simple pleasure I adore. Finding fun letters from India, NJ, and IL made it even better.

10. Today I enjoyed a clean car thanks to Mario's sweet attempts to detail it as a coming home treat!

Summer Vaction

e-Clare is officially on summer vacation!

We'll be back with updates, pictures

and stories on June 26th!

Trapped

Trapped
Originally uploaded by scindiagirl.

At last a way to contain her!

Nine Months

She's been out as long as she was in! Our morning well visit to the pediatrician revealed that Clare is 19 lbs. 12 oz., has a head circumference of 17 1/4 inches and is 28 inches long (though I really question the nurses diagonal line measured from Clare's ankle).

There weren't any shots be we learned we can opt for the new Hep. A vaccination at our next 12 month appointment. The visit stressed me out trying to keep Clare from diving off of the examination table and off of the germy floor. She ate her Wheaties and felt the need to explore everything in the room while I attempted to maintain a conversation with the MD.

Our pediatrician is also pregnant and asked what my product reccomendations were. After a bit of thought I think my 2 'cannot live without' baby gear choices are 1. the bumbo baby sitter and 2. the Medela pump in style dual breast pump.

Smiles of the Week

1. Asking me at a Detroit airport gift botique "Do you live in the United States?"

2. Finding a just because gift card for Starbucks in the mailbox.

3. Scoring a great hotel deal for our 2 night adults only getaway in Burlington, VT.

4. Falling in love with the novel, Who Will Run the Frog Hospital? by Lorrie Moore.

Rejection Defined

New Shirts

After visiting an indie craft store and baby shop in Madison I was inspired to make Clare the clothes that I liked. So today we cracked open the lap tees and fabric paint to create these new shirts.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

One of the things I enjoy most is building my music and literary interests when I meet new people. Most of the music I have is a product of a visit somewhere, novels I read are usually based upon a reccomendation, and the same follows with movies. I'm not a media trailblazer, instead I tend to follow along with what others enjoy and adopt it into my iPod or book shelves.

I thought it would be the same with kid stuff. Along the lines of "Oh, you give your kid green beans out of a can? Well we should try that too." But instead I leave these conversations daunted and threatened wondering why I haven't done things a certain way. At times it is reassuring to compare bottle consumption trends but I was not aware of the insecure darker feelings that came with kiddy comparisons.

Prior to these conversations today I felt pretty confident about where Clare is and what she is doing. She's healthy to the naked eye, eats veggies and fruits, nurses regularly, and does stuff that kids do. I was comfortable with her diet, our decison to wait a bit on solids, and enjoy blending her peas into oblivion.

So why am I gripped with the sudden need to run to Publix and return home with green beans in a can and frozen waffles for her to chew on?

Emma

On my flight between Detroit and Columbia last night I occupied seat 11A. To get to my window seat the man the aisle seat had to get up. He waited until I settled, pulled out my novel, and bucked my seat belt before closing in. Just before he sat down he stuck out his hand for a hearty handshake and said, "Hi! My name is Bruce."

Inside I cringed wanting nothing more than to dissolve into my novel and write in my journal. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead thrust out my hand saying "I'm Emma."

After he sat down and buckled his seatbelt he turned and looked at me. I smiled and made a conscious decision to spend the next hour and half doing exactly waht I wanted to do: reading. I opened my novel, dove in, and enjoyed being Emma, the girl who doesn't talk to strangers on air plane rides.

In contrast, this afternoon I am feeling a bit starved for conversation. I guess it is part of coming down from the weekend and I'm sure will be a matter of time before Clare is chattering my ear off.

Who's the Baby in the Trash Can?

Baby in the Trashcan
Originally uploaded by scindiagirl.

Clare's new trick that she learned over the weekend. The trash can lures her from wherever she might be in the kitchn as the most fascinating new object in our home. The fireplace is now second just ahead of the electrical cords.

My Weekend

I would move to Madison, Wi tomorrow if we could. Each time I have to leave I never want to get on the plane. I love the lakes, the winter, the ice skating, the politics, the people, and lifestyle. I'm certain I will spend a portion of today pondering and planning on a way for us to move.

My weekend was non stop action that left little time for sleep. We didn't go to bed until 3 a.m. Saturday (that's 4 a.m. here and WAY past my usual bed time) and sadly I discovered that I am programmed to wake up at 7 a.m. no matter how far away I am from Clare.

Here's the list of what we did accomplish:

Jazz Fest at the University Union (drinking beer on the docks listening to jazz)
Walking on State Street
Visiting the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art
Visiting Olbrich Botancial Gardens
Attending the Florentine Opera's production of Aida
Visiting the Vilas Zoo
Cocktails at the Hotel Metro
Flying to Milwaukee and touring the lake from the air
Brunch and Bloody Mary's with Amy
A Sunday afternoon boat ride on Lake Mendota
Custard at Michael's Custard
Fred's Famous Martini's

And how/why do I know Fred? We met when I worked in rural health, shared a passion for novels, ice skating, and conversation. I guess we've been friends ever since.

For the first time I really liked the opera. Before I think I liked the idea of getting dressed up and going to the opera but this time felt different. I'm looking forward to attending again though I now I know I have a preference for Grand Operas.

And yes, I missed Clare if I thought about it. So, I tried not to think about it too often or else my boobs and heart would hurt. I travelled with my backpack Medela breastpump and found plenty of places to pump around town. Next time perhaps she'll have to come along.

Doughnut Day

Before I left for Madison on Friday we took Clare to Krispy Kreme for Free Doughnut Day! I did a little investigating and discovered that you had to actually GO INSIDE for a free doughnut so we waited until Mario came home so we could all particpate. Clare skipped on the doughnut but we enjoyed hers for her...she's got plenty of time to enjoy doughnuts later on.

Madison, Wisconsin

A few of the things I'm looking forward to this weekend:

• Wearing necklaces
• Carrying on my luggage
• Reading on the plane
• Wearing dangling earrings
• Sleeping past 7 a.m.
• Going to the opera
• Fred's famous martini's
• Breakfast on Sunday with Amy
• Walking on State Street
• Dressing up Saturday night
• Cow Pies
• Babcock Hall ice cream
• Conversation
• A joy flight in Fred's plane
• Temps in the 70's

Diving Weights

I am exhausted. It could be staying up way too late finishing my novel or a mere 20 minutes of chasing Clare without coffee or both.

We do not have a lot of stuff in our house on the ground level yet she manages to find all of the stuff that we do have. She has an entire universe of primary color playthings on the floor to entertain herself and yet she insists on going after 1. a dull grey ash pot near the fireplace, 2. the knobs on the coffee table drawers, 3. a dusty fake fern, 4. every speck of dog hair tumbleweed, and 5. any electrical cord within a 20 ft. radius. Come on Baby Einstein, why aren't your $$$ products keeping her attention? I thought this was why we paid more for your toys!

This morning I feel like a parrot squaking "You may NOT touch the exciting and dangerous electrical cords" in a deep stern voice and "But you MAY play with these boring plastic beads" in a lighter happy tone. We are in a scramble to develop a parenting style and the beginning of a discipline system by using our usual methods of reading too many books and talking to as many real parents as we know. If you have the electrical cord cure let us know.

When her neck is covered in purple bruises from making out with some questionable guy or girl I am sure that this will look like cake. Until then I am inclined to take Holly's suggestion and tie diving weights to her ankles.

Free Orgasms

According to the Chicago Spinster, Krispy Kreme donuts are orgasmic. Lucky for all of us we can try a donut of our choice (though I think she was referring specifically to the Hot Now variety) for FREE tomorrow JUNE 2. Click here for more information.

After graduation from William and Mary, Mario and I lived in sin right behind the Krispy Kreme donut store on Route 1 in Alexandria. Holy weight gain and cheap dates. We are testament to the fact that you can eat an entire dozen in the car when they are hot off of the line.

And it also it is also a fact (well known but under-reported) that that almost everyone has some sort of Krispy Kreme memory or story. What's yours?

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

First there were the crawling lessons and look where those got us! Now we are chasing around an electrical cord magnet. No good can possibly come from these standing lessons that Mario is now giving.

Deja Vu

Omigod!

My mom is a a pretty hip mom, my friends always thought that she was pretty cool. Granted it seemed like I wasn't allowed to spend ANY time alone with boys like they could. And I thought my cool mom would banish me from the family after I made out with a senior in the back of his parents station wagon along the Rock Creek Parkway my sophomore year. It was one of the embarassing dates where he lived in Maryland and my mom had to drive to pick me up after our date. Anyhow, the first boy I really kissed, left marks. Big ones. Giant purple hickeys all over the left side of my neck. I tried wearing my hair down but my attempts at hiding them lasted about 45 seconds and after that my time with boys had serious limitations.

Still, for others she was pretty cool and she adapted her vocabulary accordingly. She's quick to throw in the latest lingo and buzzwords around us and our friends. But after my brother and I moved away things her vocab changed too. We started to notice it over the phone and then a few years ago my mom came to visit us in Columbia for Easter.

Her previously cool sayings were suddenly stuck in the 70's. Most notably: "Get Out!" or "Oh Get Out!" So much so that my brother and I started a tally on the chalk board that used to hang in our kitchen. Over the course of Easter weekend we would add tally marks and giggle each time we heard her exclaim "Get out!" By the end of the weekend the numbers totalled somewhere in the double digits.

The lastest edition that's struck a nerve with me may be in part from reading Megan McCafferty's novels, but the addition of "Omigod!" to our nightly conversations is over the top. I can't tell if I'm talking to my mom or the Homecoming Queen from high school. It's kind of funny to hear her say "Omigod! I found the best pack-n-play for your trip up here on Craig's List!" I love her dearly for all of the preparation she's making for our upcoming journey but omigod she's going to embarass me when we are in public, though probably no worse than I've embarassed her over the past 30 years.

Clare's already started her work in this department. During tea the other day she managed to 1. fart, 2. belch, and 3. spit within the first 30 minutes of our experience. So much for manners. I don't think I will be as 'cool' to her friends especially given the whole television issue, but I am looking foward to making her squirm with groovy vocabulary additions.

**My mom wanted me to add that she did offer to show me how to 'cover up' my new vampire marks thus maintaining her cool mom status in the end.