Midwife Appointment

Tomorrow Mario and I are going to meet with the midwife about possibly doing a homebirth. The main purpose is to see if we jive with her, if we are comfortable, and if I even qualify for attempting a homebirth. I have a bunch of papers to bring to her, a log of my diet from the past week, and a ton of questions.

While this is a very personal decision and choice, I am blogging about it so that others can learn about what goes into a homebirth, what is is all about, and what the process is as we figure it out. That said, here are a list of questions I have for Lisa.

1. What percentage of your clients require hospitalization?
2. What are the costs involved in a homebirth? What does insurance 'usually' cover? What are the extra costs outside of the $3,000 flat rate fee?
3. Where in my home would I give birth? Can I use our jacuzzi tub during labor?
4. How does the pediatrician see the new baby? How soon?
5. Who are your birth attendants and where are they from?
6. Will you be on vacation in July at any time?
7. What is the role of the father in a homebirth?
8. What do I have to do to prepare my house for a homebirth?
9. What is involved in sterilization?
10. Do you do Strep B testing or feel it is necessary?
11. How much meconium is okay for a homebirth?
12. What factors cancel a planned homebirth?

And I'm sure about a million more from Mario. Tonight we are going to sit down and make a complete list (after he gets home from the evil empire with his gas grill that he bought on 4/11 and never got a call about to say whether it was assembled or not.)

The Beach

Eating Sun Chips a la diva style in her Dora chair.
Spotting doggies on the beach.
Working hard in the sand.

Stirring the sand soup.

Oddly we rarely used to 'go' to the beach but now that Clare is on the scene I think we will be spending a lot more time there. She was entertained for an hour and a half stirring the water in this bucket and occasionally fetching more with one of us. Yesterday was a perfect beach day and I told the Mother's Day fairy that I wanted to add a fun small cooler and roll up blanket to my wish list to support future trips to the beach and park.

The Pool

Saturday afternoon after the draft and the homeowner's association meeting (both important events for Mario) we rode our bikes up to the Village and enjoyed dinner at Brogen's. It is nice to sit outside with Clare because there is plenty of passing foot traffic to offer distraction and the birds attempting to score fries is equally entertaining to her.

Per Grandpa Mike's request we tested at the pool on St. Simons. Brr by ordinary standards but refreshing considering the sunny skies. Clare mostly enjoyed dumping water on herself out of Moe's kid's cups. Cheap thrills.

Pool Bath

It's warming up around here. Clare pulled her pool out on the patio so we decided to give her an impromptu pool bath this afternoon. Fun and practical! And then we used the water to water the plants (and weeds) growing around the backyard.

Writing it Down

One of the things I need to bring with me next week when we visit the homebirth midwife/doula is a complete log of everything I have consumed for one week. Day one looked terrible on paper: sweets from SPOTS, Hooligan's for lunch, and a Mc Donald's happy meal. Not to mention a few handfuls of animal crackers and too many cups of tea.

After that Mario and I decided we would write down our food together. And what a crazy difference it makes knowing that we have to write it on the pad each night. For instance: Mario only ate three tiny chocolate chip cookies after lunch today and practically begged me to do the same so that I would have to write them down too. But more than anything we are doing more than just thinking about what we eat, we are actually not eating as much crap.

Today's list is a bit better on my end complete with lots of protein, dairy, grains, and a few naughty tortilla chips and queso that managed to come my way at the concert tonite. We need to go grocery shopping to fill the fridge with healthy snacks so that the ones lurking in the pantry don't distract us from our mission.

More Free Fun

Clare heard her first 80's cover band tonight at the Midtown in Forest Acres concert series. We bought her a tiny Dora chair so she could enjoy having her own seat but in the end she spent most of the time cuddling on my lap. The band was great...I wish we could have stayed longer but the girl needed to get some sleep. (In this picture she's still squirming to get away and play with sidewalk chalk though.)

The Mighty McFly band had tons of energy and in my next wedding (the one where you do all of the things you didn't know about the first time) I'd definately try and book them.

Lunch

Clare loves the pretzel sticks we brought home from Gigi and Pop Pop's condo this weekend. We are having a domestic day around here complete with laundry, catching up, back yard play and thank you notes. Hooray for lazy days!

Registration

Next week Mario and I are meeting with Lisa, the home birth midwife from St. Matthews. We scheduled an initial consult to ask questions, learn about her birth philosophies, and to do a general screening. The appointment should last about 2 hours and give us plenty of opportunity to get a better grasp on what is involved with a home birth and what we would like to persue.

Included in the packet of materials she sent (which impressed me with their thoroughness and information) was a client registration form.

My favorite part of the form:

Planned place of birth: __home __birth center __hospital
If home, please indicate if you have: __water __electricity __telephone

Marital Bliss

This weekend Michael and Mikie got married in the Wren Chapel. The events surrounding the occasion were busy but a lot of fun for everyone involved. I loved being the pregnant best man and having both Mario and Clare in the wedding too.

Clare did a super job walking down the aisle and then directly out the back where her 'Uncle Joe' was waiting to hunt eggs with her in the Wren Courtyard*. We opted to have her exit the chapel after a series of "mumma moomma mum mum mum ma's" that flew out of her mouth at the rehearsal. She was really good during most of it but seeing me up at the front of the chapel and not being able to get there frustrated her.

Of course Mikie was beautiful and Michael equally handsome. They're a good looking couple and both had a good time at the reception/rehearsal/ceremony. Right now they are in the Mayan Riviera in Mexico soaking up cocktails, sunshine, and each other.

There are many more pictures to come. Between talking to everyone and chasing Clare I didn't take nearly enough pictures and I am depending on others who did! And from what I understand, the photographers release all of the photos digitally and folks will be able to just order from an ordinary photo service like Snapfish.

*Super thanks to Joe for watching Clare during the ceremony and then again later in the evening at the reception!

31

My brother got married on my birthday and threw me the best ever birthday party. Thank you to everyone who not only remembered but also helped to celebrate the day. Mario and I managaed to escape for a solo lunch date in Williamsburg and I got to sleep in a little bit! Two especially wonderful things amongst lots of well wishes, cards, and treats.

I miss the dramatic flair of turning 30...but then again there's always the countdown to 40 right?

And we're back...

We love Williamsburg and totally enjoyed being there for the week. It really feels like going home more than almost any other place right now. It is nice to know that some things will always be there, and even though the area around them may grow, the campus will remain relatively unchanged.

Clare got her first William and Mary sweatshirt and it felt a bit surreal to be walking around campus with our kid running around in WM gear. However, I can't imagine it being any other way either right now and it fit our feelings well.

Mario and I were also impressed and happy to be there for the week following the VA Tech shootings. Every William and Mary campus sign was draped in a VA Tech blanket/logo. The bridge over Crim Dell had a VA Tech banner hanging from it and Colonial Sports made these wonderful shirts that folks wore with the VA Tech and WM logos blended together. Colors around campus faded from green and gold to burgandy and orange on Friday and Saturday. Both of us were struck with the campus reponse and efforts for outreach.

Friday in Virginia

25 Weeks

Blog or pack? Blog or pack? Blog.

Mario and I went to Lexington Women's Care for our first appointment with the midwife 1/2 of their practice. We arrived early, spent 35 minutes waiting and reading the paper, and had a list of questions about birth philosophies, interventions, and home birth. Clare spent the morning at the nursery and according to her reports did just fine with her blankets.

I really liked the midwife, Rhonda, who saw us. She sat down, answered all of our questions, and reviewed Clare's birth with us. This was the LONGEST pre-natal visit we have ever had and it felt good to finally talk to someone about this pregnancy. And it turns out that Rhonda the midwife had 1. a birth center birth for her first and 2. a home birth for her second. What a resource!

Anyhow, she was really supportive of exploring all of our options and cleared up some basic questions we had. What questions? Who sees the baby? What if there is meconium? How does the hospital treat home birth emergencies? How are outside doulas treated in delivery? And so on...

In the end we have a consult arranged with the private midwife, Lisa, for May 1st and our next pre-natal appointment with Rhonda on May 8th. My next step is to figure out the insurance thing. It may turn out to be easier to just keep seeing the midwives at LWC for insurance purposes and just pay Lisa the $3,000 fee out of pocket. What we need to know is how much does an emergency c-section cost with our insurance if it is necessary. That piece of information should complete our financial questions.

I gained a ton of weight these five weeks and need to work on throwing out all of our Easter candy and eating a lot more protien. Or at least chocolate covered protein!

BP: 120/70
Baby's Heart Rate: 140's
Baby's position: lateral
Weight Gain: 12 lbs.
Next visit and glucose test: 5/8

Road Trip

We are preparing to hit the road with our newly assigned titles and appropriate outfits:
1. pregnant best man
2. usher/reader
3. flower girl
4. groom

In the midst of packing and sorting through things to bring on our trip I have ideas for my toast floating through my head. We pick Michael up in Charlotte tomorrow evening in the massive red minivan (newly equipped with borrowed DVD players!) to head to Williamsburg.

I'm excited that we have three drivers and a bag filled with snacks to fuel us through the evening while Clare hopefully sleeps soundly in her carseat. I can't wait to play on the William and Mary campus with Clare and Mario...just the idea of watching our kid run through the Sunken Gardens sounds like a lot of fun.

The wedding takes place here on Saturday afternoon and then the reception will follow at the Williamsburg Winery. I know that Mikie and Michael have spent the past few months working really hard putting this event together and we look forward to celebrating their marriage with them.

Round. Large. Rolly.

I am feeling very pregnant tonight. My belly is huge. My breasts feel even bigger. And I think that every part of my body is about 3 sizes too big.

I am wishing that I were one of those women that sports a cute little bump instead of a swollen round body during pregnancy. But...at least this time I know for sure that this will pass soon enough and I will return to my regular size. My body is busy doing important work making this little person and I will continue to nurture it and let it grow how it sees fit.

Two exciting notes: another entire box of maternity clothes from Caroline to wear and I've met a woman via another blogger who used the midwife we are considering for a home birth. I'm excited to have another resource about birth and many more shirts in my closet!

Children's Garden

Sunday mornings usually bring us to the Northeast side of town because the blue laws prohibiting store openings until 1:30 p.m. do not exist. We needed dog food for Bailey's upcoming trip to the doggie resort and a few other things...and 1:30 p.m. is well into our day and Clare's nap.

To explore a little bit we went to the Clemson Extension Children's Garden. Another free resource in Columbia and a treat for all of us. Next time we will need to remember to bring a picnic along to enjoy the grounds and quiet even more.

Who's your Daddy?

I have proof, even better than a DNA test, that 100% guarantees that Mario is Clare's father.

The answer: ketchup. She loves it, I hate it, he loves it. Yesterday at Mc D's she actually dipped her french fries in the red stuff, licked it off, and double dipped back for more.

Only Mario's child would ever think of doing that.

USC Spring Game

After the zoo we headed over to Williams-Brice Stadium on a whim to check out the spring game tailgate action. I heard on the radio about a 'free' tailgate party at the Gates of Williams Brice so we circled until we found it.

Most 'free' events with Clare thus far have not turned out very well. They are usually out of the free stuff and the kids events are overrun with much older kids. This one actually turned out to be quite fun: three bounce houses that we were allowed to join her in, hot dogs and hamburgers, beer and drinks, face painting, and lots of giveaways.

We all had a great time (and I think that Mario actually enjoyed being Clare's chaperone in the bounce houses!). Maybe next year she can stay awake long enough to attend the spring game too.

Redemption

We spent the morning at the zoo and this time our trip was complete with a merry-go-round ride, snacks, and 'out of stroller' time!

The art of eating a strawberry

1. Make sure that nobody is watching you.
2. Sample the leaves just for fun.
3. Use both hands and take a big bite.

4. Hand remaining berry to Mommy to finish off.

At the Strawberry Patch

Taking advantage of our amazing weather we headed over to Cottle's Farm to pick juicy red strawberries this afternoon. For locals, it's off of Bluff Road and costs $8/gallon to pick between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.

Clare treated it just like an egg hunt. She held the basket and I'd hand her berries to put inside. Every one in awhile (or more like every third berry) we would stop to take a bite or two. Jackson and Alex joined us for even more fun and proved to be super pickers. And the adults learned that kids pick a lot faster than we could ever imagine so it is a good thing to bring extra cash to bring home their pickins'!

A very little thing

Pre-Clare I was a shopping cart nightmare. I'd leave them anywhere in the parking lot totally ignoring all of the cart gathering spots boldy marked in the lot.

Now I savor the 45 seconds of peace and quiet when I return the cart. The child is safely buckled in her car seat and I can take a few deep breaths before joining her for the journey home.

Kids Eat Free - Columbia

Monday: 99 cents kid's meals at Shane's Rib Shack

Tuesday: Free kid's meals at Moe's and 99 cent Happy Meals at most Mc D's

Wednesday: Free kid's meals at Italian Pie

Thursday: 99 cents kid's meals at Picadilly Cafeteria

Friday:

Saturday: 99 cents kid's meals at Picadilly Cafeteria

Sunday: $1.25 Happy Meals at Mc D's on Garner's Ferry

Every Day: O'Charley's kids eat free
Mon-Thurs: kids eat free at Fuddrucker's

Know of any others? Post it in the comments and I'll add it on!

Outing Notes

Sometimes by around 9:30 a.m. it seems like we have exhausted all of the options in our house that may fall in the category of 'fun things to do.' At this point I tend to load Clare up in the car and head out without much of an agenda. And since all roads seem to point towards Target we usually end up there for at least a little bit until I can think of something better. The bright lights, color, and constant restocking always make it interesting for me and Clare gets to eat gummy fruit snacks in the cart.

But today on the way out of Harbison I noticed that Once Upon a Child is opening in the Babies R Us shopping center! This is a franchised kids consignment store so they buy your stuff for cash and you can pick up all sorts of things like clothes, plastic toys, strollers, and gear for much less than regular retail. Anyhow, I'm geeked about the opening.

And then I did something to put myself in contention for the wost mother in the world award. I decided we would drop by the zoo for a quick visit on the way home. I used the snake avoiding tactics with great sucess and we even saw the hippo totally out of the water. The gorillas were out, the elephants played, the sea lions frolicked, and finally we headed towards the merry-go-round with Clare on my shoulders. I had all intentions of letting Clare ride before we left until I saw someone that I really didn't want to talk to or see sitting right infront of the carousel. So I veered left and Clare bawled. Inside I knew I really wanted her to ride but my need to avoid was stronger. And I felt like crap as we headed for the exit.

So, I promised her in my head that we would go to the mall after her nap to ride then or we'd pop back by the zoo if it was still open when she wakes up.

Sniffles

We all have some kind of cold.

My mission tonight: to find out of there is anything I can take to clear up my head so I can sleep and breathe.

How we can tell Clare is not feeling so hot: she's going to her crib with all of her booshas asking to go to sleep.

I wonder if we got it from the wacky weather or Clare gave it to us from some crud she got at the drop-in nursery last week. Hmmm...

Hippity Hop

We took Clare to the Easter celebration on Jekyll Island Saturday afternoon. It was really cold on the river but the promised all sorts of good things in the advertisement: a pooch parade, an egg hunt, bounce houses, the bubble man, and cookie decorating! So we bundled up and went.

Next year we'll arrive an hour earlier to hunt around the cottages and beat the seven year old boys at their own game. Clare didn't find any eggs but there was one very sweet boy who took three out of his stash and stragetically placed them along the path so Clare could 'find' them as she walked along. That was the highlight of the hunt and I hope it brought him so good egg karma too. (Lesson learned: private egg hunts are much more fun than public egg hunts!)

We planted eggs in the back yard on St. Simons too...four times over so Clare could 'hunt' them each morning and afternoon. After all of her practice we (as her trainers and coach) think she is ready to turn 'pro' next year. Bring on the Biltmore and White House hunts.

The Easter bunny didn't forget the adults either. Mario and I made baskets for eachother and I loved waking up to find all of my surprises. He never found a dark chocolate bunny to put inside but if the trend continues towards healthy chocolate maybe one will appear next year.

Baby Bunny Crocs

Easter Bunny Grandpa Mike sent Clare some fun basket money and we used it to buy these kids crocs today at Rack Room Shoes. They're adorable on and someday when she wears shoes for longer than 6 months we may splurge and get the real thing! (For other Bunny's out there: Rack Room has lots of size 5 and 6 if your tot has tiny feet like ours!)

Loving

• Fla*Vor*Ice
• Dark Chocolate M and M's
• the drop-in nursery
• new diapers in the mail
• egg hunts
• 95 cent This American Life downloads
• completed articles
• childbirth reading
• open windows
• Carter's sunsuits
• Friday's off
• orange scented candles
• new notebooks

Backyard Fun

Each afternoon we spend a good hour or so outside in the backyard. What do we do? Play with sidewalk chalk, throw balls down the slide, chase Bailey, have snacks, and play with garden tools. And...I can even sort of do my own thing while we are out there as long as I stop and wave and keep chattering to her.

These rompers by Carters are my favorite right now! (And they're a steal at Sam's Club if you can find your size.)

Nursery Training 103

She did it! She did it!

A small whimper when we pulled in the parking lot, a big pep talk from me, and then the nursery workers that now know her and our goal swooped in to take her and her blankie before she could even protest.

No phone calls from the nursery on my cell while I was out hippity hoppitying. I returned an hour and a half later to find her engrossed in a special easter tea party complete with grapes, cheese, sweets, and lemonade. I actually waited in the hall for 10 minutes so she could finish her snack.

Next week is Spring Break for the nursery so we will pause our training and spend more time playing outside. But we'll be back!

Holy Thursday

Tonight is my favorite mass of the year. Sadly we will miss it because we will be on the road (and it's past Clare's bedtime), but it is one of the things I look forward to most each Easter season.

And now I can add dark chocolate M and M's to that list too right above the slot I have for robin eggs. Now that dark chocolate is fashionable and healthy I know I can fully expect to find my dark chocolate rabbit in my basket Easter morning.

Urban Chic?

I love local coffee houses. I hate the smoke in local coffee houses. I love that the largest Starbucks in the Southeast is so close to our home and is now open! Yet another escape spot for me to enjoy...and if we ever get a sitter, maybe even a date?

Book Club, Birth and Rumors

Last night the book club met at M'Cafe to discuss The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. During our conversation the whole birth thing entered into play and I tried to explain how odd it was that it cost more and wasn't covered to have a more natural birth outcome.

I think Amy nailed it when she said, "So you want to have the Whole Foods/Earthfare birth instead of the Kroger birth."

And then Sarah shared with us the latest Junior League rumor: that the Kroger on Garner's Ferry Road may soon be a Whole Foods. Maybe there's a birth center coming our way soon too?

Our next book club book: Suite Francaise.

Nursery Training: 102

Armed with four blankies, one cloth diaper, and a bag of precious fruit snacks we headed to the drop-in nursery for more training this morning.

And as soon as I turned into the parking lot of the church Clare burst into tears in the backseat.

I took a deep breath, took her sobbing inside, and met the nursery director again. Lucy is wonderful and reassured us that eventually this would be very routine and okay. I dropped her off, headed to Starbucks to work on my Urban Tree Conservation article, and tried to relax.

I called in 1/2 hour later and got a glowing report that she was clutching her blankie but was 1. not trapped in a stroller and 2. sitting with a new nursery worker. I got clearance for another 1/2 hour of mommy freedom.

During the next call I heard she was actually playing on the playground! And then 1.5 hours after drop-off I returned refreshed to pick her up. They were just sitting down to a tea party (aka: snack) when she saw me. I went in the room, watched her eat snack and then happily took her home.

Hooray for baby Clare! She did it! We'll continue training with fruit snack backup and blankets, but so far so good. (Unless you count the parking lot drama!)

Currently Reading

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
by: Henci Goer

Birthing from Within
by: Pam England

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
by: Ina May Gaskin

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way
by: Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg

The Pregnancy Book
by: Sears and Sears

What else should I add to my list and bedside table?

Too Quiet

Clare likes to get into things while I'm writing email to my friend Holly. Last time I found her with seven CD's stacked in her player trying to mash down the lid so they would play music.

This afternoon I found her drawing all over the toilet with her bath tub crayons...on the lid, on the seat, and yes...in the bowl. Time to elevate the crayons and install a doggie door on the bathroom door so Bailey can still get to his food and water.

Uncle Mike's Program

Uncle Mike's program at Wachovia is featured today in the money section of USA Today! Wahoo! Kudos to you and your growing rapport!

Television Temptations

Okay. So we do not own a television right now. No biggie. It's been gone for one week and one day and I can't say that I missed or noticed the absence of the dusty monster lurking in our corner.

But then while waiting to get my flat tire fixed outside of the Evil Empire on Friday night I heard about this on the radio. And as much as I hate television and the idea of television, I have to admit I am devilishly intrigued by this new show. If there were one show that I would ever watch this might be it. The one.

We may have to get a television. See...I am human afterall.

Spring Cleaning

Thanks to a burst of energy and Mario's determination our front porch is now clean and the lawn is mowed! Clare and I were on site to assist and supervise, but really we spent most of the time cooking 'egg soup' and popping bubbles. Now if we could only get motivated to do the inside!

Watching Daddy clean and giving directions.
Popping bubbles!
Stirring the 'egg soup' till it tastes just right.
Dumping the soup all over the porch.

Parent Perk #126: Egg Hunts!

Our girl made us proud at the egg hunt in Charleston yesterday afternooon. There were 800 eggs up for grabs on the lawn at the Halford's home with an allotment of 10 per child. Friends told us we could have 15 since we were toting along baby #2 too.

Within about 45 seconds Clare scooped up well over ten eggs into her quacking plush easter basket. Mario followed close beside her trying to figure out how to slow down her ambition by periodically knocking eggs out of her basket. And then Nancy rang the bell telling everyone to go ahead and get as many as they could.

Thirty four eggs later Clare's basket was filled and we attempted to meet and greet the Easter Bunny. Not the one that sends us easter checks and surprises, but the gigantic plush bunny on the lawn. We got one picture out of the deal before she started to get very wary of the creature.

After she went to bed last night Mario and I did what children can only have nightmares about. We opened up all of her eggs, stripped them of the candy, ate her candy, and talked about her non-stop.

We all had a blast and are amazed at how efficiently the Charleston girls and guys throw parties. Not too much, not too little, no detail left undone. Thanks for the invitation and all of the treats!